Dear Diary
by The Freaky Butt Mate
Summary: A diary entry by a girl trying for her shield, and having second thoughts about becoming a knight.


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Any characters you recognise don't belong to me. They belong to the Goddess. Tamora. All bow down! *bows*

Anyway, this was only for a competition I'm entering. I hope I win! ^.^

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The second day of Midwinter, in the third year of the reign of Roald IIV and Shinkokami, his Queen.

_470 HE_

Dear Diary,

It has been about half a year since I started here at the Palace in Corus, to train to become a knight. And in my opinion, it is quite dreadful.

After Lady Keldary of Mindelan, I am the fifth girl ever to try to become a lady knight. Lady Léxa of Tirragen was the first. She easily got through. Then was Lady Alanna's daughter, Alianne. Young Carinda, originally from Galla, tried. There was some sort of scandal with her, though, and she dropped out, never to be heard of again. Then there was Gemme. She came out of the Chamber of Ordeal this morning, unscathed and grinning in her usual cheerful way, if a little tired. 

Now there is me. Julienne of Port Legann, the youngest, least important daughter of the lord of a port town. The only good thing ever about me was my Gift. I'm too short, too skinny, and too ugly to be married off to any man. Luckily, my father was happy enough to put me through Torture School, as I've decided to start calling it. And thank the Goddess for that. There was no _way_ I was going to simply be married off to some old, wrinkly, dry man and used as some sort of ornament, albeit an ugly one.

Oh dear. I'm rambling. 

I don't believe the life of a knight suits me. And not just the training – it's those that I'm training _with_. The boys still seem not to think girls should try for the shield. Or maybe they don't think _I_ should try for the shield. 

I have a single friend – a second-year page by the name of Jace. He himself isn't that popular with the other pages, which is probably why we're so close. 'Just because we're small, doesn't mean we can't pack a punch!' is what he always says. Just before they beat him up. And give me a black eye or two.

Because of the other pages, I've gotten many bells worth of punishments for being tardy, untidy, and once, for being caught trying to defend myself. All I had done was used a bit of my Gift to glue the boys to the wall…

The day begins early. We do combat training, horse riding and archery outside in the mornings. After lunch, we come inside for lessons. The only things I'm good at are the archery and horse riding, as well as history lessons. Everything else…

In the afternoon, my arms and eyes are too heavy to lift. All that training in the morning… I still haven't gotten used to it, even after six months. And because I'm so tired from all of that, I can't do all the homework I get from classes. And because I can't always get my work done, I then have to do extra work. It just gets more and more.  

As much as I want to get my shield, I don't think I'd be able to handle it. It's just too much work for me… I'm getting too exhausted, and it's only been the first year! 

Maybe… maybe I'll drop out at the end of the year. Then I will try to become one of the Queen's Handmaidens. I think I have to be at least sixteen, though… That means I'll have to wait five years. Oh!

Maybe they can make an exception for me. I mean, with the knight training I've had, I'm sure they'd accept me. And no one's better than me on a horse. None of the other first-years, even some second-years, can use a bow while riding on a horse.

Yes. That is what I'll do. I will discontinue this torture once this year has come to an end. Then I will find out how to become a handmaiden. Much better than becoming a knight.

I think I hear Jace at the door… Now what does he want? Oh! I'm supposed to be dressed to help with the festivities! Oh, the teachers are going to _murder_ me…!


End file.
